It's just like the Real World with babies
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Rumble strips road head = magical
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
