I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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