I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
