singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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