I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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