since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
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How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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