Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
