Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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