I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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