I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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