I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
