i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
