i jhust puked up my retainher.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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