Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
