Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
