we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
