yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize