Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
