Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
