Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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