I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
