I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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