So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
