Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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