oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Randomize
