to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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