Pappa wants mamma naked
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
