porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
