I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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