You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
