I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
