So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
