i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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