You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
