Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
