You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Small penises have feelings too.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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