Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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