porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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