Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize