Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
