If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
