apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
