Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
handjob tips. give me some.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
