I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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