For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize