He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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