so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
