Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
