One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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