I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
