Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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