No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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