A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
