i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
