i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
