that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
