Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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