I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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