I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
