"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
