My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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