Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
